Say to wisdom, "you are my sister" and make understanding your closest friend. For they will keep you from the immoral woman... Proverbs 7:4-5a

Women’s Discipleship Group – 2006
HELPMATES, HANDMAIDENS & HARLOTS ON-LINE BIBLE STUDY
FAMILY LIFE SERIES
LESSON #4 The Blended Family
Website: www.terrimcfaddin.org
Presented by: Terri McFaddin Solomon

Definitions: Helpmate – Handmaiden – Harlot
Helpmate: A married woman who is committed to the well being of her husband.
Handmaiden: An unmarried or married woman who is committed to serving the Lord.
Harlot: An unmarried or married woman who will sacrifice her soul or body for personal gain.

SCRIPTURE FOCUS:
Helpmates:
Genesis 2:24 – For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will come become one flesh.

Genesis 35:22-26 – Now the sons of Jacob were twelve: The sons of Leah were Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar and Zebulun; the sons of Rachel were Joseph and Benjamin; the sons of Bilhah, Rachel’s maidservant, Dan and Naphtali; and the sons of Zilpah, Leah’s maidservant, were Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob who were born to him in Padan Aram.

Handmaidens:
Psalm 68:5-6 (Living) – Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Esther 2:7 – This man had a beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother had died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.

Harlots:
Genesis 38:24-26 – And it came to pass that Judah was told saying, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has played the harlot; furthermore she is with child by harlotry.” So Judah said, “Bring her out and let her be burned!” When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “By the man to whom these signet, cord and staff belong, I am with child.” So Judah acknowledged that they belonged to him.

OPENING STATEMENT:
My Story:
I was twenty-three years old when I met my first husband, Adam McFaddin, Jr. At that time it didn’t seem to matter to me that he had children from a previous marriage. In fact, I was delighted when his six year old daughter Roslyn came to live with us. The first few days were really difficult, but once we established the fact that I was the adult and Roslyn was the child, our relationship blossomed. This is one of the few times that I have ever mentioned that the eldest of my two daughters was adopted, that’s because the love is so strong between us that she is like my own blood – but even more important, we are joined by spirit. I have learned that there is only one thing stronger than a blood relationship and that is a spiritual relationship. After all, we became God’s children by spirit and not by flesh.
Romans 8:15-16 – For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

The Helpmate’s Story
In this day and age, blended families are nothing unusual. By this I mean households where the husband and wife bring together children from previous relationships. Some women pray that the Lord will bless them with a father for their children, only to find that their new mate is too strict, or too detached or unable to bond with her children. But on the other hand, there are couples who come together with children, pets and debts from previous relationships and things work out beautifully. The Lord knows that none of us are perfect, so in spite of our past circumstances or failures, He is able to bring us to a place of restoration. If you a part of a blended family, purpose in your heart to do the following:

1. Become obedient to God’s Word. Make it the standard for your household. Even if some of your family members resist, be determined to set a godly example.
2. Establish a regular time of family prayer. Come together on a daily basis with your mate and children. Pray for those in the family who won’t participate.
3. Find a good church home where there are activities that support young people, families and marriage.
Joshua 24:15 – “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

The Handmaiden's Story:
I thank God for the handmaidens who have come to the rescue of abandoned or displaced people. At one time, it was the norm for cousins, aunts and godmothers to open their hearts and their homes to make a child or an adult a part of their household. It might be for a few months or a few years, but the Lord can use a willing handmaiden to literally save someone’s life. I myself have helped to raise nieces, nephews and neighbor’s children along with my own family. I want to encourage you to be willing to blend your family with some child or adult in need. If you should choose to accept this assignment please be sure to consider the following:

1. Never say anything negative about a child’s family or background. They are probably already embarrassed or ashamed.
2. Never make distinctions between blended and biological family members. If you are Mommy or Auntie to one, then be Mommy and Auntie to all.
3. Pray for the child or adult that the Lord brings into your life. Ask the Lord to heal their heart from the pain of rejection or abandonment. Ask the Lord to provide for their emotional and material needs. Isaiah 58:6-7 – Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: To share your food with the hungry and provide the poor with shelter—when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

The Harlot’s Story:
As the towering biological clock ticks away, some women (even the godly ones) go into a panic about not having children. They become like Tamar, (Genesis 38:1-30). She was so desperate to have a baby that she pretended to be a prostitute and tricked her father-in-law into getting her pregnant. Some women don’t care about marriage, they just want children. It doesn’t matter if the father sticks around or takes off – just as long as she has a child to call her own. Unfortunately, many blended families are the result of women who have refused to establish a family according to God’s holy order. Ruth (Ruth 1:1-9) was also childless, but instead of loosing her head, she waited on the Lord – and along came Boaz who married her and gave her a son. The ungodly woman doesn’t trust God to give her the desires of her heart – she would rather have it her way! The following are some of the consequences if and when she attempts to blend her family:

1. After having children out of wedlock, a future mate might not want to take financial responsibility for children who are not his own.
2. Many children who are born under the above mentioned circumstances (especially boys) are troubled by the fact that they do not know their biological father. They become territorial and resent their mother’s relationship with a future husband.
3. Many women, who are unmarried with children, fail to recognize men who are sexual predators. They enter into blended relationships not recognizing that they are putting their children at risk for abuse.

2 Timothy 3:6 – For among them are those who make their way into households and captivate silly women overwhelmed by their sins and swayed by all kinds of desires.

Your Story
If you are a part of a blended family, please share your story of blessings or difficulties.

OBSERVATIONS AND PERSONLIZATION:
Helpmate: Read Genesis 2:24 and Genesis 29:28-30

1. What contradictions do you find between these two scriptures?

2. What was the family challenge between Leah and her sister Rachel?

Read Genesis 45:4-6
Read Genesis 49:28

3. What good came out of Jacob’s blended family?

4. What difficulties have you seen in blended families?

4a. If you are a part of a blended family, what difficulties have you experienced?

Handmaiden:
Read Psalms 68:6

1. What should be our response to those who have no family?

Read Esther 2:7-8

2. What was the blessing that came as a result of Esther’s adoption?

3. What good things have you seen as a result of a blended family?

3a. If you are a part of a blended family, what good things have come out of your family relationships?

Harlot:
Read Genesis 38:1-8

1. What was Tamar’s difficulty?

Read Genesis 38:13-16 and vs. 24

2. What was Tamar’s solution? Do you think that Tamar was really a harlot?

3. Have you encountered a “silly woman” who was putting her children in jeopardy because of a relationship with a man (or woman)? What was your advice to her?

How Women's Discipleship Group Got Started

The Women's Discipleship Group was organized in 1999 by Terri McFaddin and Janet Bailey. The purpose of the discipleship group was to assist women in becoming rooted and grounded in their Christian faith. It was designed to also help women reach the level of spiritual maturity that would enable them to use their gifts and talents in various arenas of service and ministry.

We move toward these goals by implementing the following principles:

1. Building spiritual strength by a systematic study of the Word of God, including prayer; memorizing scriptures and weekly meetings.

2. Building strong relationships within the discipleship groups. This includes encouraging one another and being sensitive and supportive of one another's needs.

3. Training women to become servants and ministry leaders in their churches, mission fields, communities, schools, businesses or wherever God has called them to serve.

What We Believe

The women of WDG are a mixture of many different Christian denominations. But we all believe that we have eternal life through our personal confession of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We believe that the entire Word of God is true and we govern our actions by the counsel of the Holy Bible. We believe that we are called by God to be examples of godliness by loving one another and ministering to those who are in need of our help.

About Terri McFaddin Solomon

Terri is an ordained minister, author, speaker and songwriter with two Grammy Awards to her credit. Terri co-wrote two theme songs for the movies: Big and Men In Black . She authored three books: God Made Me Beauty-full ; Only A Woman and Sapphires And Other Precious Jewels.

Terri was born and raised in Philadelphia, where she attended Temple University. She holds a Masters Degree in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary.

In 1999 she and close friend Janet Bailey, founded WDG, which prepares women for service in various areas of ministry. There are currently five WDG bible studies taking place in various locations.

In October, 2005, Terri married Charles Solomon and resides in Los Angeles. She is a member of Faithful Central Bible Church and the mother of two adult daughters, Roslyn and Theresa who are also in the ministry.